I’m not as pretty as I was

“And you be the Captain, and I’ll be no-one” Kasey chambers, The Captain

The longest relationship I’ve ever had lasted 5 years. Well, actually, a little over 5 years. It’s with out a doubt the relationship that’s taught me the most, so I remember it well.

“Well I have handed all my efforts in, I searched here for my second wind”

It was her birthday a couple of weeks ago and I sent her an email wishing her all the best. We usually exchange emails about 2-3 times a year and birthdays are always one of those times. It got me thinking… could I remember what I gave her on any of the birthdays we were together? I could not.

“I’ve kicked myself at times because I’ve lied”

I didn’t give up, these last two weeks I kept on thinking… and a few came to mind. The last year we were together I was living abroad and I sent her a foot-long panoramic photograph. I remember the picture, she was standing pretty along a ridge that overlooked the craters of two volcanoes to her left and right. I think she liked it… Then I remembered that our first year together I gave her a reproduction of the first page of a British paper covering the fall of the Berlin Wall (a time in history I knew she particularly liked). I think she liked that as well… Finally, the last one I could remember was a fancy hour-long couple’s massage at a spa. I liked that…

“So I will have to learn to stand my ground. I’ll tell ’em I won’t be around”

So I’m happy I was able to remember 3 out of the 5, even though the massage got me thinking that I kind of mailed that one in and that I could’ve come up with something better. She was a great girl and I have absolutely no regrets of spending 5 years of my life with her. Our relationship should have ended 1 or 2 years before because we seemed to have different expectations, but we had a lot of fun and, as I mentioned at the beginning of the post, the relationship taught me a lot.

“And if I tread upon your feet, you just say so”

That was not the relationship I wanted, but it taught me what I want out of one. When I look back I always think it was time well spent, 5 years was a bargain when I think about what I took from the experience. Plus I met a great person, from a nice family, that I still keep in touch with today. I don’t remember the fights, the struggle of being long distance (3 out of the 5 years) or the periodic discussions on “where is this going?” whenever it came up that I might go off to work abroad. I remember the good stuff. We traveled to more than a dozen countries, shared a ton of laughs, made friends in common and enjoyed seeing each other become something better than what we were when we first met (at least in her case). There are only a few people I get really excited when I hear something great has happened to them, she is one of them.

“Did I forget to thank you for the ride”

This song is for her. Well, actually it’s for me, to remind me of her. I really like this song, but she loves it (or perhaps loved, who knows). She once told me that she listened to it occasionally when she missed me. I honestly don’t miss being with her, but I’ll take a page out of her playbook and use it to remember her… that I like doing.

“I tend to feel as though I owe one to you”

 

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20 thoughts on “I’m not as pretty as I was

  1. I tend to remember the trivial and not the epic, as it were. People always say they know where they were when Elvis died, or John Lennon, etc. I can’t tell you where I was when I found out when family members died. But I remember getting cherry instead of strawberry sherbert for dessert on my first date.

    • Thanks, if you like Kasey Chambers there’s an album she recorded a few years back with another Australian country singer. It has good some pretty good tracks, the albums is called rattlin’ bones I think. Cheers!

  2. Thanks for liking “Viva el Verano”! I’m really enjoying reading through your blog – I respect and share the effort to get into a writing practice. Your posts convey so much! Thanks for sharing the softness and your honest self-reflection. That’s not always easy! I look forward to reading more.

    • Thanks, I appreciate the comment! So far the blog has been a lot of fun, I’m writing more often than I expected and having a blast doing it. Take care!

  3. After reading a couple of your posts, including this one, I find myself looking back at my own life and all of the relationships I’ve had with people – whether they were family or friends or boyfriends – and I see them in a different light. Sure, I regret some of them, but what this post got me thinking about was the good things in each relationship. I could find at least one good thing in every relationship – a moment, a conversation, a life lesson – that has helped me grow. Thank you, I really needed to see things in a different light!

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