I gave you my onlyness, gimme your tomorrow

“If I were a carpenter, and you were a lady. Would you marry me anyway? Would you have my baby?” – Willie Nelson and Sheryl Crow (Original song by Tim Hardin)

The first time I heard the song If I were a Carpenter was about 10 years ago. An uncle sent me a version sung by Willie Nelson and Sheryl Crow during Johnny Cash’s Memorial Tribute Concert in 2003 and I liked it immediately. I later heard other versions, including one by Johnny Cash and June Carter, but, as is often the case, I still prefer the one I heard first. It’s a fucking great song and one of my favorite duets.

“If a tinker was my trade. Would I still find you?”

In a previous post I explained how Tom Wait’s Closing Time was an important album in my relationship with my current girlfriend, well this song was too. One thing I didn’t mention was that before I began going out with her we had been friends, we worked together actually, for two years. During most of that time we both had out own separate relationships and although I was happy with mine, I have to admit that during the second year I became pretty attracted to my now current girlfriend. I dismissed it as a work crush and didn’t consider acting on it. I had a relationship I liked, we worked together and there were a whole other bunch of factors which I’ll write about sooner or later. Fortunately I caught a break…

“If I were a miller, and a mill wheel grindin’. Would you miss your colored blouse? And your soft shoe shinin’?”

My relationship with my girlfriend abruptly ended. We were long distance and I had decided to leave my job and head over to where she was, but about two weeks before I was supposed to leave it all went sour. She was pretty cruel in how she dealt with the situation but, as I expressed on my Fallen Robin post, I don’t have any hard feelings. I just “remember” her, but as Leonard Cohen helped me phrase it I don’t even think of her that often.

When I say I caught a break I truly mean it. We had a fun relationship, she was attractive, she was smart, we were pretty independent, but overall it was pretty clear that the whole of our relationship was pretty weak. I’m certain that had it not been then our relationship would have ended sooner or later. I haven’t spoken to her since, but I honestly hope she’s going well and I’m sure she can find somebody who’s a better fit. So where’s does my luck begin?

“Save your love through loneliness. Save your love through sorrow”

The first week after the relationship ended I was pretty broken-down, it was tough having to explain to family and friends that finally I wasn’t leaving. The second week I was still a little bummed and decided to go with a friend to another friend’s beach house for a few days. We had a great time and it was good for me to clear my mind a bit, eat my weight in seafood and do some good old fashion buddy drinking. And the third week… well that week began what has so far been my favorite relationship. So I thanked Tom Waits, I thanked Martin Scorsese and now without further ado… thank you ex-girlfriend.

Where do Will Nelson and Sheryl Crow singing If I Were a Carpenter come in? Well my current girlfriend and I began as co-workers, but about a year after that we became good friends. I got into a pretentious habit of sending her songs every now and then that she “had to listen to!”. She seemed to get a kick out of it and even sent me songs back every occasionally. This didn’t stop even when I left the office, so during my trip to the beach with friends (week 2 of the break-up) I sent her this song, which fortunately for me struck a nostalgic chord with her. She loved a version of it sung by Joan Baez which she had listened to a lot on an old cassette that she once had. So she loved the song and it definitely helped me score some points. Even though for her Baez’s version is still the best, for me Nelson’s and Crow’s remains the special one. Maybe if Bob Dylan had shown up to sing the duet with Baez it might have been a different story.

To the carpenters and the ladies…

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